just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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