i was born a porn star she said
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
