At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
