Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
