i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
