Don't you send me to vm
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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