Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
