i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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