uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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