but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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