I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My ATM looks so different sober.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
