Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
