at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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