How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
