I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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