I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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