I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
