You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
