Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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