Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize