i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
