I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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