i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
