That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
