dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
