listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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