matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
