I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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