So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
