Old men and throwing up are my life now.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
