i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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