dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
