HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
