420 ftw
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
