If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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