let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
