yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
