Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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