I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
