Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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