HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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