I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We're too hungover to prance.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
