yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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