When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
