There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
