a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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