i was rollin on her like bob the builder
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
