Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
