I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
