It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
