he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i think my mom watched the whole time
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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