I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
