; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
