Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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