Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Drunk is not a location!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i out mim tonsoeep
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