my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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